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The most widely published spokesman for the authoritarian view of parenting is James Dobson. Here is a summary of his view:
“The world is a dangerous place, and it always will be, because there is evil out there in the world. The world is also difficult because it is competitive. There will always be winners and losers. There is an absolute right and an absolute wrong. Children are born bad, in the sense that they just want to do what feels good…. What is needed…is a strict father.… What is required of the child is obedience, because the strict father is a moral authority who knows right from wrong.… the only way to teach kids obedience…is through punishment, painful punishment….”
Dobson goes on to extend this view to competitive capitalism in which those who help the disabled, the poor, the needy are undermining the economic order.
This summary is by George Lakoff in his intriguing book Don’t Think of an Elephant! Pages 7–8.
Here are Dobson’s views that should be questioned:
These are all views of life and the world, or religious views, or philosophical views, that have alternatives. Here are alternatives that are based on scientific facts:
As for Dobson’s views of an absolute right and wrong and that children are born bad, which are fundamentalist views, please ponder my view on this web site.
Managers and supervisors who lead their staff to be effective workers and to find satisfaction in their work generally show certain qualities. They may show some of these or most of them. In briefest outline here are some of those qualities:
Short stop parenting will apply some of these qualities to parenting skills. If you have been under supervisors who reflect these patterns, and been a member of work groups that use these approaches, then you will have an easier time applying these approaches to your parenting. You will have experienced these. If you have never experienced such a work setting, you will need to work harder to develop the qualities summarized above of mutual trust, mutual dependence, relaxing, and interacting with each your children and they with you, and parents with each other.
If you are the owner of the enterprise, then reflect on how you manager or supervise the people working for you, and the qualities in your managing that encourage better quality work and higher levels of satisfaction.
Examples: if you think your teen is overly concerned with the brands and costs of clothes and styles, invite her so she joins you for a half day at a clothing closet for needy people, or help you deliver meals on wheels. Follow this with conversation over coffee about what your teen feels from that experience. Encourage free ranging thinking and let your teen do most of the talking. Let this suggestion lead your thinking of other ways to spend time with your teen to stretch thinking and feeling.
Some people claim they use the Bible to guide their parenting, but often refer to these few selected passages:
Four reactions that I hope you will ponder if you ever consider following those texts:
New Testament statements that some use are Colossians 3:18–21 or Ephesians 6:1–4 both of which assume the "natural order" is a four level dominance family with father alone on top, mother below, boys below them, and girls at the bottom. This is the patriarchal family, which careful thinking shows to be un American and not productive. Contrast these to Jesus' words above and his actions in relation to women and children.
The reality is girl's sports show as much skill, teamwork, speed as boy's sports. Women in World War II operated most equipment building war material. The women at an Electric Boat Co. shipyard did all the work building the submarine Flasher that was a leader in our war in the Pacific. Those submarines were the most complex machine of World War II: welded hull, with miles of electric and hydraulic lines and extreme tolerances so they could dive deeply. Today women excel in most professions and trades besides often being the primary parent — though both parents must be deeply involved in parenting.
Finally, note in my page on discipline the contrast of discipline and punishment.